I made a discovery today, this was surprising as I hadn’t set out to make one. Not that anyone sets out to make this kind of discovery. For a long time I have not felt this content within my own skin, and if my peers don’t understand that is fine.
Anyway enough stalling, today I found the beginnings of myself as an artist now I would of done the same thing as everyone else six months ago; and said “what do you mean you have found your artist? You make films not sculptures or traditional art”. But please do humour me.
To give you a back-story to this discovery I will try and portray the train journey to university. Whilst train journeys are normally boring and uneventful, this one was quite the opposite. Not in the way of a disruption or a fight breaking out. It was just a normal journey. So as I was sitting there I couldn’t help but over hear a conversation between to middle aged ladies. The topic of conversation wasn’t interesting but as I listened further; I had this strange urge to get my PVN (personal visual notebook) or sketchbook for a less fancier way of putting it, out.
While half listening to the women on the train I placed my pen to the paper. Forcing my hand to move, in what direction I do not know. So not thinking about what my hand was creating my mind was focused on their conversation. As I started to realise what I was drawing, my doodling wouldn’t make sense to other people. Yet I felt happy with that fact. The creation was a surreal look on the world around me, which I think about normally. But the way my hand and brain put it on paper seems like a strange concept.
Later on I did this same exercise with listening to two people talking. This led to the same outcome but in this instance I drew a ghost with a church: and a hand behind him. The limited ability to draw doesn’t seem to matter as line sketching allows me to get past that. It also creates a distortion in the drawing opening the piece to interpretation. I have decided to not squash this thought provoking day and instead embrace it, maybe even expand on this.
The truth is I don’t know where this will take me or whether the pieces mean anything. This scares me not to know the direction, but also this is exciting. As once again the world is my playground.