Dear Planet Earth: You complete me.
Disclaimer: I am a firm believer that the world ISN'T going to end. I needed a laugh and wanted to make a humorous article about our "last day on earth". I'm not here to convince anyone or to have a debate on the accuracy of the Mayan Calendar. Though the calendar never took in consideration of leap years, modern-day time zones and/or minutes/hours, and the person who was in charge of the calendar could of died. *Mic drop*
Earth is finally ready to press its self destruct button.
The Universe has decided to throw itself a going away party.
Will the earth shake and be crushed by the moon or will we all cease to exist in the blink of an eye?
Whether it's from a super volcano or due to the zombie apocalypse, the world is set to end on December 21, 2012, according to an ancient calendar scribed by the Mayans.
There's no need to stock up on useless supplies for your end-of-days panic shelter. The world is ending, duh!
Why not use your last 24 hours to live life in bliss? Don't shower, hesitate to stuff your face with sugary foods, or be in contact with crazy people who will only ruin your fun. *If you have no interest in partaking in the doomsday festivities, skip to step number 8.
- Dress up as your favorite superhero. You will feel more awesome
- Go to the store to buy Hostess products. Boxes and boxes of Hostess products. And bacon. Begin the Bacon-Hostess feast!
- Prepare for the zombie apocalypse...just in case.
- Tell everyone you dislike to eat doggy poo (expect to have rapid repercussions).
- Reenact "My Drunk Kitchen" (or perform any drunken activity and film it), after having your own Margarita-ville inspired party, and upload the video to YouTube.
- Find Doc, grab a few snacks, and get ready to travel back in time to the Mayan Era.
- Blare Kansas' "Carry On My Wayward Son" whenever you drive. It's the perfect and comforting doomsday song.
- Spend the day sleeping.
- Play monopoly one last time. You know you've never finished playing it before today.
- Make a list of 10 Things You Would Never Do and perform one of the tasks on that list. It's time to try a slice of turducken. Mmmm gross.
- Write a letter to the future homo sapiens that will inhabit the world.
- Prepare your rocket ship and underground escape pods and set a track to Pluto with your GPS.
Need help picking an activity from the list? I'll get your started by performing number 11 list.
Dear future homo sapiens, human kind, or Neanderthals of new Earth,
So, let me get this straight, the Mayans predicted that December 21, 2012? Well, that is last on my list of things to accomplish with my life. Right below swimming with 500 sharks while wearing a bacon tuxedo.
Who knew the world would end in the winter? The temperatures were raging hot early this year, wouldn't it make sense if the world decided to implode then? Well enough about the weather, future mankind. Or should I say dolpin-kind? Maybe the new world is run by dolphins. I hope you have opposable thumbs, my dear dolphins, because there a few delicacies you must indulge on.
- French fries, a.k.a. hot slices of salty potato goodness.
- Cupcakes, a.k.a. mini cakes so delicious that you will feel less guilty eating 10 of them than you would have if you ate a whole cake.
- Pizza, a.k.a. food for every meal, cold or freshly baked. When made correctly, it's out of this world.
- Ketchup, needs no explanation. It's amazing.
Everyone, please stay safe on the impending 'doomsday' tomorrow (or today depending on what part of the world you live in). And be sure to check out the film below for some more doomsday fun.
Mechanism by Karlis Vitols- A short film about an astronaut, rocketship, and a metal planet.