Relationships are one of the most complicated parts of life, especially long-lasting relationships like marriage. However, sometimes we are so concentrated on fixing it that we ignore the fact that the relationships don’t work out anymore. You may wonder why a woman can’t break up with a man she doesn’t love. But after many years in a dead-end relationship with my boyfriend I’ve realized that this is a common problem for women. If you’re totally confused with your failing relationship let’s find out why you cannot end it.
1. You think you can’t live without him
The biggest and the most common reason why so many people stay in dead-end-relationships. And that was the first problem for me. Through the years of our cohabitation we’ve gathered infinitely many common memories, experiences, fun moments and I just had no will to give it up. This stuff is always so lovely that it holds us down like an anchor. Your spouse might be the best person in the world but you just feel no affection. When you feel that your relationship doesn’t work out, end it.
2. You don’t want to be alone
This is another crucial reason for most women to stay in their far-from-perfect relationships. Fear of never finding the right person after the breakup is very strong and frightening, but you should realize that this fear is in your mind only. When you break up with the guy you don’t love anymore, you don’t waste his and your time. This gives you the true opportunity to find a real love.
3. You don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings
A friend of mine has been dating her boyfriend for 6 years. Their relationship started when they were in high school, which means they underwent the most important stages of their lives together. In fact they shaped and built and supported each other all this time and now it feels somewhat unfair to leave him after all they’ve got through. Moreover, he’s a really nice guy and she even has nothing to reproach him for. The feeling of sorrow and guilt is normal, but it cannot determine your life.
4. You appreciate this kind of stability
We love security. Life is always easier when you know what is going to happen tomorrow and who’s waiting for you at home, while changes and big decisions are always stressful and challenging. But this kind of stability sucks up your energy and time. Relationships are not essential for survival; bad relationships are definitely more harmful to you than no relationship at all. Don’t think of what the morning will look like when you wake up alone.
5. You hope that your relationship will change
Our presumed expectations and desires about what the person should be like and what kind of relationship you should have, often lead to disappointment and separation. I’ve witnessed only a few times when guys could alter their habits and attitude in order to save their relationships. But the truth is that people are unlikely to change completely, neither are relationships. Try to understand that some people aren’t just meant for you, no matter how much you want them to stay in your life. They can teach you a lot and give priceless experience, but no more.
6. You don’t want to accept failure
After every breakup I usually feel like a loser. The reason is that I recognize some relationships as projects I want to carry out. If you don’t accept failure, you should break this habit. When you do your best to breathe new life into your dead-end relationship and it still fails, it’s much wiser to call it a failure. You cannot stay in a relationship just for the sake of it. Moreover, considering relationship as a project is utterly wrong. In this case breaking up isn’t a failure, but the only right decision.
7. You are afraid to start a new relationship
A healthy relationship always requires great efforts, energy and time. When you get used to a particular person it becomes easier and you feel like you don’t need to invest into your relationship. When you start a new relationship you have to set rules, agreements and get accustomed to the person anew. But this is really tiresome and exhausting, that’s why most of us decide to leave everything as it is.
8. You have a full-fledged family
Kids, housing, familial relationship and years of marriage are the most important reason for women to stay in their unhealthy relationships. We don’t want to deprive children of a father, since a nuclear family is the pledge of their happiness and success. But tell me honestly, how can your children be happy if there is no love between the two of you? It’s much healthier and wiser to leave the person you don’t love anymore.
It’s always hard to decide what to do with your less-than-ideal relationship. Due to endless fears, doubts and stereotypes, you may get stuck in your dead-end relationship without realizing it. Not only do you waste your time, but you also prevent yourself from being truly happy. Perhaps you need to take a break, but most probably your relationship has come to an end. Take it easy, it’s the end of your relationship, not your life. Are you in a dead-end relationship?