verb [ trans. ]
give (someone) the authority or power to do something : nobody was empowered to sign checks on her behalf.
• enable (someone) to do (something) : cryptography will empower individuals to control their information.
• [ trans. ] make (someone) stronger and more confident, esp. in controlling their life and claiming their rights : movements to empower the poor.
I have a tendency to do too much for people in relationships. It's possible that I try to please people because I want to make them happy. I love to see people be successful and helping is really in my nature. Sometimes it's for fear of falling out of their good graces, so I walk around on eggshells. But here is what I've realized...if a person is going to be upset with you because you do not continue to cater to their every need, give them money when they make poor choices, bail them out when they are in trouble...they are not your friend, they are a controller and manipulator.
On the the other side of the coin, that makes you an enabler and you are only contributing to the problem. Maybe you believe that being co-dependent will make you happy, but I assure you that it will not. Laying awake worrying about them all night while they are out partying or sleeping soundly is a sign that you are sacrificing your own happiness for them. This is not what you were called to do. You have no time to get distracted with taking responsibility for other peoples bad behavior...if you spend the next 20 years living for them you will certainly fall short of your own destiny.
Interestingly enough, it's usually the people closest to you, the people that should be there for YOU when you need them the most, only to discover that they aren't emotionally invested in you the way you've put your life on the line for them. It is time now to reevaluate your relationships because there is something critically imbalance here.
Be weary of high maintenance people. They are impossible to keep happy and they will only frustrate you. You need to release yourself from the false pressure of people, refuse to be a dump for other peoples garbage, cut the puppet strings and let them come to a place where they are forced to better themselves on their own terms because no one is coming to rescue them. It's ok to say I love you...but I cannot let you use me anymore.
A pilot has four primary principles to take flight; lift, thrust, weight and drag.
1. Lift to get the plane off of the ground.
2. Trust to propel the plane forward.
3. Weight being the force of gravity holding the plane down.
4. Drag is the pressure of air forcefully holding the plane back
Most people will fall into one of these four catagories
There will be people that uplift you, raise you up, pick you up when you're down. Those that propel you, encourage you, and motivate you to get better. And then those that will weigh you down, drag you back to hold you and keep you from getting to where you want to go. Spend the majority of you time with the first two and less with the weighters and the drags. They will drain you and hinder you from reaching your God-given potential and you deserve to SOAR.