Friends with Benefits to Real Relationship: Possible?

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Earlier this afternoon, my friend was seeking an advise from me with regard to his friend to whom she had an arrangement about going intimate with each other without any feelings attached. And clearly they are friends with benefits. She has a feeling that this matter may result to serious one and asking me if that would be possible to work out for both of them if she would admit her real feelings for him. Well I just told her upfront, NO! 

I have read in a magazine about entering in this kind of arrangement as friends with benefits  will, according to their given statistics, not be a great possibility. Giving you a highlight to their given statistics, a study examined 191 FWB (friends with benefits) for a year, and found that only 15% of them blossomed into full-blown relationships during that time. The remaining percentage of 31%, were no longer in contact with their FWB after a year, and  28% had ditched the “benefits” part of the deal and a quarter maintained the arrangement. 

This arrangement is not new to me, and even you, not because I have experienced it but because I have many friends engaged in this. Some were not friends anymore and other continued as acquaintance.

Many have decided to engage in these arrangements for the reason that a lot of them, wouldn't risk their hearts towards heartaches and pain. We know that there are a lot of things to consider when you enter in a relationship. These are expectations which would pressure most of them and they don't want that. While being together as friends but expect nothing at all challenge them to be free and do things at their will  These types of relationships include sexual relationships, friendship, and romantic love. Unlike casual sexual affairs, romantic love is a serious matter. Friendship is also not a casual relationship--we do not make friends with all our acquaintances. Friendship assumes the continuation of the relationship over a period of time and a depth that is absent from mere casual acquaintances. However, as friendship refers to a less comprehensive interaction between two people, it requires a less comprehensive commitment than romantic love.

 

There’s a widespread belief that sex is detrimental to a friendship, that it will complicate matters and ultimately destroy the friendship. People have this in mind when considering FWBs. These relationships offer the advantages of caring friendship and sexual enjoyment without the emotional turmoil and commitment associated with romantic love. The disadvantages are that they lack some of the advantages of romantic love--in particular, the continuous and deep bond to the other. The partner in a friendship with benefits is often not the first priority of the agent. In the long run, this person is second best--second to the person with whom the agent wishes to have with a profound, committed, and intimate relationship. Some measures of preference, exclusivity and uniqueness regarding the first priority are typically required.

Don't be fooled by that! I mean, you are precious to be a second or third or maybe last option. Ultimately, you're bound to be disappointed if you enter into a FWB relationship with a friend who you're secretly hoping becomes something more. If you want to date him, you need to be up front about that. But if you're like most girls in FWB situations, you're not crossing your fingers that the relationship gets upgraded to boyfriend-girlfriend status. You just wanna have fun. And chances are, so does he. Just say no to this arrangements. 



About the author

crisly

I am a full time employee but able to find some time in working in internet. I will be having my very own blog site soon. I'll post it here if its already been realize. :)

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