How can I be the best at what I do AND have a family who I spend time with, time to exercise and relax, and not feel rushed?

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Dear Laura, 

You said “It seems that a lot of successful people have huge problems in their personal lives… whether be drugs, divorces, depression or narcissism. I’ve always been a top performer and pushed myself. I want to build a $1 billion company but I’m scared it means compromising on my personal life.”

You asked "How can I be the best at what I do and have a family who I spend time with, time to exercise and relax, and not feel rushed and stressed all the time?"

First, let’s start by defining the terms because words like “best”, “have a family who I spend time with”, “time to relax”, “rushed”, “stressed" are very subjective. These words mean different things for different people. 

>> When you say each of these words, what do you mean? Describe these words in more details so that you understand better what you really want. 

[Exercise for you, reader: what do you really want? Find the key words and answer the question “what do these words mean to you?"]

Understanding what you really want is important because it create the picture you want to build. Think of you life like a puzzle. 

Every aspect of your life is a piece of the puzzle. Every action you take bring a piece of the puzzle closer or further from the right place. The right place is determined by the image you’re trying to build. If you’re trying to build the image someone else puts in your mind, you won’t be happy. If you’re building an image that doesn’t make you happy, the great news about the puzzle of your life is that you’re the designer so you can change the image you’re putting together at any time!

The first step is understanding what you really want. The clearer the image you’re trying to build is in your mind, the easier it will be for you to put the puzzle together. By digging deep into what you really want, the image you’re trying to build will reveal itself (and is likely to change over time)

If you’re a top performer, you’re really good at something. In fact, we all have something we do best. Whatever you do best, you can apply the mindset of that activities to everything you do. By learning how you do what you do, you will learn about the how to be the best at everything you do. 

>> Think about 3 of the things you’re most proud of. 

>> What kind of actions did you take to achieve what you did? 

>> What kind of person were you? 

>> What kind of mindset did you have? 

>> What did you do differently to achieve these successes?

>> What motivated you to achieve these successes? 

>> What difference did it make to achieve these three things?

Through a commitment to understanding how you do what you do and why you do what you do, you will uncover the pieces of the puzzle. The better you understand yourself, the actions you take, and their consequences, the better you will be at putting your puzzle together. 

Once you have a clear image of what you want and you have enough pieces, the next step is to decide how you will put the puzzle together

>> How do YOU put a puzzle together? (Do you start by the outside and go in? Do you start with a specific shape or aspect of the image? Do you start with whatever pieces are next to you? Do you start by putting pieces of the same colors together?)

>> If what you want was a puzzle, how do you start building it?

Once you have the answers to all the questions above, you are ready to start putting the puzzle together. Remember that the more hours you invest in putting your puzzle together, the faster you will get there (within limits!). 

Send me your answers when you have them. 

Keep digging, keep shining,

I believe that everything can be elevated to an art form, whether be speaking, running a business or any other skill. 

I coach people who want to create masterpieces from what they do. 

If you want to create a masterpiece, send me your answers to the questions above and will reply with guidance to dig deeper. 

If you answers have digged deep enough, I will offer you 90 mins of one: one coaching to focus 100% on you and what you want to create. 

About the author


Noam Kostucki is a professional speaker, coach and consultant on communication, strategy and innovation. He believes that everything can be turned into an art form, whether be public speaking, building a brand or running a business. Over the last decade, he has engaged with over 20,000 people in 12 countries.…

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