Friendship consists in forgetting what one gives and remembering what one receives.
– Alexander Dumas
A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allow you to grow. – William Shakespeare
It feels so fulfilling and happy knowing that you have a true friend who never leaves you and always there for you, through good and bad times. The true friend that is always there when you feel awful or when you hate all the people surrounding you, you have that specific friend you can count on and let all the heavy emotions get out. That one true friend who is always by your side even not physically but you know that your true friend is there always when you need him or her. True friendship last even you two are doing the things that are not the same as the other one. Because you are a true friend if you show to them that you respect them in every decision they make and accept them for what they are. That’s what true friends do for.
Is that it? Is that the only thing to do to become a true friend?
Do you think you can be the true friend everyone’s been looking if you only do the things mentioned above?
Do you believe that true friendships really exist in this generation?
How can you become a true friend if you keep on doing the things he or she doesn’t like?
Is it necessary for two people to do such things simultaneously in order to become true friends?
What is Friendship?
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such as communication, sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy.
Well, I know that everyone may have different answers with the questions being stated above, for the main reason that we all have different personalities. And every person has the different perspective in looking and mingling with other people, and for that matter, they are refereeing to the evaluative list of their own. Just like in a school, we can clearly notice that every student mingles in a specific group in where they feel comfortable with. And that is what I am talking about, that we have different characteristics of finding the true friend I am talking about.
Nevertheless, I still made some general guidelines on how to basically discover a wonderful and amazing friendship relationship with the specific true friend we all wanting.
1. Even in Silence you must Always be There
When your friend is talking or expressing his or her feelings out do not interrupt, instead, open your ears and listen to what he or she is talking about. It may sound boring but when you are listening to him/her you are giving your time to your friend and will make her/him think that she/he is special and that you care. If your friend is having a hard day and wanted to let go of some stress she or he is having do not just wait when the time she or he is finished talking and you will talk your way after he or she does, it will be so obvious that you are not interested in what she is talking. Be kind enough to listen to her/his sentiments as well as be fun in giving him or her some humorous set back when she is sad but you must be light too so he or she will not get offended.
2. Don’t be scared of telling the truth
In order to open genuine connection and communication between the two of you need to be a good friend who is honest enough about sharing feelings and some other negative thoughts you have in mind, and if you have problem or when you are upset about what she just did or said you need to tell your friend the real story so that there will be no boundary between the two of you. But honesty must be said on the right way and on the right approach in order not to get your friend’s feeling get hurt. Like, if your friend is doing some bad things like starting a new vice then you much approach him or her and open a healthy conversion, but if your friend is wearing a dress that you do not like, well, that is another story, for that matter you need to keep your phrases in humor and loving tone so that she will not get offended.
3. Be trustworthy enough in keeping your promises
Even there is a saying that – ‘promises are made to be broken’, well, you don’t need to follow that. If your friend means a lot you then you need to keep your promises. I know nobody’s perfect but don’t make it a habit of breaking your promises. And when you do break one promise be sure to ask for forgiveness. Keep in mind that breaking a promise might jeopardize your friendship.
4. Know when to ask forgiveness and mean it
Just like what I’ve said that nobody is perfect and we all have our own flaws in life. And if in case you hurt your friend’s feelings and made a mistake – own it and ask for forgiveness. Asking forgiveness doesn’t mean that you will do it over and over again because your friend can forgive you, who knows when the time will come that she or he is tired listening to your excuses. Say sorry and mean it!
5. Respect and accept them for who they are
When you support your friend’s decision you are also respecting him or her. And if your friend practices cultures and traditional ceremonies do not judge them but instead respect them and accept them for who they are, as long as they don’t hurt you.
6. Give each other spaces every now and then
Giving each other personal spaces is like you are letting yourselves to grow beyond the world you two are standing. If your friend love to play badminton and you love to read books in the library, give her space in where she will grow as an individual and support him or her with her or his dreams in life. And if your friend mingles with other people from her or his sports group do not get jealous and do not control him or her by not letting him/her talk to other people. Giving each other personal space gives refreshing air between the two of you and you will appreciate more.
7. Be mature enough to accept changes
Every now and then we human beings evolve to certain aspects of our lives that we have much more responsibilities to hold onto and the friendship from years ago will not be the same. When you were teenagers you can spend many hours at your friend’s house or whatever activity you do, but you two transforms into an adult eventually. And adult stage has so many things to get done with. In this stage, you may have your own family to take good care of and spending time with a friend just like the good old days is not the priority now, nevertheless, you two can see each other sometimes but not just like the high school days. In this matter...
you need to appreciate and be happy with the changes with your lives, accept the new responsibilities as an adult, learn to grow through life’s changes; your time may not be as elastic as before but make it as hard as the rock, getting stronger as time goes by.
"Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest, it's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you," and PROVED it."
— Unknown (Source)
And that’s all for now, until my next blog people from Bitlanders!
© yadeed15 ♕ 2017
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