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Today, I want to write about a very important topic or issue, that many people go through. I've seen this so often in my life, such as friends experiencing, I experienced it myself and I see this all around. I'm talking about the lack of confidence in certain situations in your life, and how to achieve it in order to be more balanced in your behavior.
Lack of healthy dose of confidence can lead to leaving tasks or work undone, problems in communication with others, and even worse - depressive conditions and unnatural or chaotic lifestyle. As you can see, this is far more serious than it looks like, so this issue shouldn't be underestimated, but instead - taken care of and addressed properly.
What is Confidence?
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The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
A feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment.
Confidence and self-confidence are two very similar terms, that describe the feeling of acknowledgment of someone's/your own abilities. It is a required part of your thinking and conducts your actions in your everyday life. If two people are put in the same situation or they are given the same problem to resolve, it's quite predictable that the person with the better confidence will cope with it easily, and the other one might not even solve it.
So let's see how to improve self-confidence and apply this in our lives:
1. Gain Experience
It's not a secret that new things, new environment, new people or situations might be scary. This is natural, and can't really be prevented. It's actually so common that there is a phobia, called The Fear of the Unknown and it's pretty serious. This fear, however, can prevent you from increasing this so precious confidence in your abilities. Achieving more, coping with difficult assignments, improving knowledge - all those lead to a better self-confidence.
Experience is not something that's given to you, it's not a talent. You can gain it over time, through hard work and by doing more of what you're afraid of. The more information you have about something, i.e. the experience you have on a certain subject, the easier is to relate that experience to any past successful events.
For example, at your workplace, a misunderstanding might occur between you and your boss. This is a very common situation. But if you've never been in this position before (you've never had a job, it's your first boss; you've never had such kind of argument before, etc.), it might be hard: 1. To make the best decision on how to react; and: 2. To know exactly what's going on. However, imagine you've met a person before, who had a similar character and behavior as you boss has. Wouldn't that make things more comprehensible? You already know how he/she could possibly react and you already know how he/she could possibly feel. So that you can clear things out much faster and in the best way.
2. Take Care of Yourself
That includes your physical self and your emotional self, as well. The simplest is to maintain proper hygiene, spend time in doing things you enjoy and "charge" you. It's not a secret what miracles one ice cream can do. :D Devote a special time only to yourself when you'll be focused on recovering from any situation that might have had a negative impact on your overall self-confidence. The thing is - being self-confident is more about yourself, it doesn't come from the outside, you have to grow it inside of you.
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Of course, that time spent shouldn't be too much, you'll need to put your own limits. And a really important part which shouldn't be forgotten is that illusions and creating fake images of yourself or the surrounding environment can do only harm. Stick to reality and start building confidence from there - that's the only way you can have a healthy picture of yourself and upgrade it constantly. And never forget that there will be always something to improve - that's the fun of it! That shouldn't make you feel bad, but instead - motivate you.
3. Analyze the Situation
If you notice a given situation that you think you can gain from, or improve, it's always worth the time to analyze it. This means to break it out into pieces and gather the maximum information for each piece. Analyzing is thinking deeply about something specific and revealing how it actually happened or how it works.
I'll give an example, as well. If you see a certain event or situation that keeps occurring on a regular basis, and it's an unpleasant one, the wise thing to do is to focus on preventing this unpleasant thing happen to you again in the future. But, that includes realizing the reasons, why this happens, what leads to it, what part of your behavior might provoke it, what quality of yours, etc. Anything that could possibly help in gaining more information and putting things together in a complete explanation.
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You will be surprised how many things might come up by simply focusing and being willing to resolve an issue. Sometimes solutions come after some time, so if you spent enough time analyzing the details, this will eventually help you in a future period. In other words - you can consider this time as an investment, which always pays off.
4. Be Yourself
I mean, your positive self. If you're feeling bad about something, try to see it from a different angle. Walk around the whole thing if you have to until you find that positive point of view. Every experience, every situation is a source of knowledge, and motivation for improving and moving forward. And every person has his individual qualities and character that help him/her deal with given circumstances.
It's very difficult to remain true to yourself when dealing with other people, but that's how you can actually acquire confidence. If you can see people accept you the way you are, then you're on the right track. Build yourself around what is right and at the same time acceptable for most people as well. This way you'll not only feel better and confident, but you'll see the results this produces.
5. Act Confidently
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If nothing else works, one proven method for boosting your confidence is if you act as if you already achieved it. It doesn't matter how you feel as long as you demonstrate it, this will become a habit and eventually, you'll get there. To do this, you'll need to train certain gestures, positions of the body, the way your voice is produced and the sound of it, intonation, etc. But at the end, it's definitely worth it.
One note here is that confident, does not mean proud. These are two different concepts. My recommendation is to try always being confident, but not proud. Confidence will lead you to the point where you can be a better person and achieve more and be useful for others, while pride can prevent you from continuing to do these things. So, be careful about it.
I hope you enjoyed my post and found it useful. I would love to see what you think about the topic. Are you confident enough?
Thanks for reading!