I felt inadequate and I always seemed to struggle. What happened will blow your mind!

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I struggled through a lot and I seem to always struggle. If you feel that you struggle doing what you really want, you're not alone. Reading this will save you a good few years: I wish I knew it all along!!  

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

- Michael Jordan

When I watched my first TED talk in January 2007 (Dan Gilbert about the surprising science of happiness), I thought that if I can speak at that conference before I die, I'll have had an amazing life. I knew if one day I ever spoke there, I could die in peace knowing I've achieved something extraordinary. Three years later I was invited to give a TED talk, and it was such an amazing day. Many people came to me and sent me emails saying I inspired them to do something differently and go after their dreams. I was thrilled: I impacted so many more people than I ever expected before! I even got a few thousand views on YouTube. I even got a few new work opportunities as a result!! Yeah!! Happy days!! 

Then a few months passed.

That's it... a few months passed and I was still the same person.

Nothing had really changed.

I had still the same insecurities. I was still worried I was too young and not credible enough. I still felt I had to prove myself. I was still worried about what people thought of me: "do I look old enough for my clients to take me seriously?" was one of big anxiety. I looked at other people's TED talks and my favorites got millions of views... my TED talk really wasn't that good after all. Looking back at it, I felt like it sucked: I was talking about too many different things, I was speaking too fast, I was running all over the place and I didn't make one clear point.

So I did what any young fool like me would do: I decided to give another TED talk, and this one would be way better, and then everything will change! It will be an amazing success and as a result I'll get more clients, they'll pay more and as I get more famous and successful, I'll grow confident and my problems will go away. Done! 

Turns out the second TED talk was a way bigger success than the first one! It quickly passed the 10,000 views and lead to receiving the UK Business Speaker of the Year Award runner up. 

Then a few months passed.

That's it... a few months passed and I was still the same person.

Nothing had really changed.

As I'm a stubborn donkey so I worked hard to accomplish more things that would make me feel the way I wanted to feel: confident, happy and for my problems to go away!

I published a book, then another. I billing clients with bigger prices. I had a photo exhibition. 

And every time... time passed... and I was still the same person. Nothing had really changed. 

If you can recognize this pattern in your life, welcome to being human! 

The problem is that I hoped that doing things would change the way I feel. 

What I missed is that the only thing that would change the way I feel,

Is to change the way I feel.

I really wanted is to change the way I feel, but I got it all upside down: I thought that by changing what I do and the results I get, I would change the way I feel. Turn out when you try getting results through sheer mind power and hard work, the more successful I was, the more mind power and more hard work maintaining my success required. 

By creating an environment in which I had time and space, and with the help of several great coaches, guides and teachers, I changed the way I feel. I slowly started to change the way I behave towards myself and others. I became less scared and less defensive. I learn to let go of my need to control everything and to be myself. I learned to say what I think and get in touch with what I feel. 

As a result, I have created a lifestyle that suits me a lot better: I am writing this article from Costa Rica (photo above) because now I now travel the world 6 months a year. This means that I go surfing and run barefoot on the beach in between clients. I spend the other 6 months of the year in NYC with my wife and she travels with me when she can. I have more time for myself, more time to relax and have a healthy lifestyle. I also have more time to practice hobbies like Judo and Photography. I have ditched all the clients I didn't like and now I only coach clients whose work I love. As a result, my clients have achieved even more outstanding successes. Here's 3 examples:

  • I coached a Brazilian startup on their pitch and investors presentation, a week later they raised $500,000 of funding.
  • I coached a client who went from being a university student to leading an organization of 650 people in only 4 years
  • I coached a couple therapist who gave a TED talk seen by 4,700,000 people. As a result she got a 2 page spread in the Wall Street Journal and was invited on the Colbert Report.

If you learn to both change the way you feel and what you do, you will change everything.

The better you get at the game of life, the more fun you have.

If you want to get good at the game, here's the 4 steps to master: 

1. Figure out what you want. 

2. Figure out how to get what you want.

3. Try to get what you want. 

4. Learn from the results. 

Take a moment to think back at your life: what stage are you at now?

Successful people achieved extraordinary results because they learn to play the game with enthusiasm and repeat difficult levels an extraordinary number of times. 

If you could buy the life of your dreams for 20 BTC, would you buy it now?

My clients invest $8,500 to $20,000 for 6 months of coaching.

For the first time ever, I am offering to coach ONE person who wants to pay in Bitcoins. If you want to get the life you dream of, send me a message here with the answer to these 2 questions:

1. What is the life of your dreams?

2. What masterpieces do you want to create? 



About the author

noamkos

Noam Kostucki is a professional speaker, coach and consultant on communication, strategy and innovation. He believes that everything can be turned into an art form, whether be public speaking, building a brand or running a business. Over the last decade, he has engaged with over 20,000 people in 12 countries.…

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