Being pregnant was what I thought would be the best part of our lives as married couple. My husband and I had been feeling complete despite how the announcement of our baby. I was admitted at the Chong Hua Private Hospital in Cebu when we learned that I was four weeks pregnant and that made us really happy and excited at the same time.
For two weeks, both of us had been looking forward for the things to prepare, what to expect when my belly starts showing signs of our upcoming baby, we had lots of plans both for us and our future family. Never in our mind that this unfortunate thing would occur but then, we don't own our lives and our fate so we were out of idea that the baby whom we thought would be our first born will be taken away from us that soon.
Image credit: blog.babycell.in
It's been more than a week since that had happened and I don't really want to remember the pain that occurred to me during that day but I want to register this blog so that I have a memory of him or her and what I had gone through which had surely changed my mind setting about conception and pregnancy. I hope this blog will help me remind myself about my first baby even if he/she was just a few weeks old, we still consider him/her as our first.
I can't help but cry when I recall the things that had happened a week ago, things happened very fast, they were like fast cars passing by my very eyes and I don't know if I can recall each and every detail. I will somehow try to share this story. I would highly recommend that you would read the story on how I found out that I was pregnant because this is the start of this painful journey. Here's the link:
⚫ Pain Reoccurred ⚫
That Friday, I worked at home so I can prepare our stuffs as we were going to Bohol that night. It's been awhile since we had gone home because of our tight schedule. So both of us were excited to go home to Bohol.
Image credit: quickanddirtytips.com
However, the excitement was changed with pain as I was feeling stomach aches again and this rectal spasm at the same time. I called James and told him about how I was feeling and he immediately advised his boss that he'll have to do under time work because of my situation. He went home as fast as he can and then reached home at past four in the afternoon and he found me lying in bed.
He was trying to give me comfort but the pain is not subsiding. What I was feeling was the same thing as how I felt two weeks ago when I was hospitalized. But since we don't want to spoil our plan of going home to Bohol, we decided that we will pursue the plan and we'll ask my parents for their help on this case.
I had to endure the pain while traveling, I had this feeling of wanting to poop but couldn't. I can't sleep as well that night while on board the ship and when we reached the Ubay Port, I was almost energy-less. I am just trying to endure the pain but I was almost passing out. Gladly, we reached home at four in the morning and my parents gave me essential oils to help me with the pain. They felt like it is gas trapped in my body and that needs to be passed out so I can be relieved from the pain but this didn't help.
⚫ A Local Midwife's Advise ⚫
Photo credits: babycenter.com
When my mom gave me birth almost three decades ago, a local midwife helped her and she's a bit older now but she is still able in helping someone in labor and would also me massaging pregnant women and help ease any pain they are feeling so my mom thought of letting her feel the baby inside of me and massage it if needed so I can be relieved from what I was feeling.
Indeed she came and felt that the baby is in an unusual position. She managed to help me with the rectal spasm as after massaging, I was not feeling that pain anymore. But she told me that we have to get a medical advise from an OB-Gyne. She referred us to someone from Jagna, just two towns away from our town so we obliged and went to Dr. Cero.
⚫ Dr. Cero's Revelation ⚫
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There was a long line waiting, mostly were pregnant women with different sizes of bellies, there were some who came for their pre natal schedules. There's one who came for an ultrasound for the baby's gender while others were having different issues with their pregnancy just like me. It was a very long wait, it took around three hours before I was attended but we were patient enough.
As per Dr. Cero, I need to undergo another Transvaginal Ultrasound since I am already six weeks pregnant. A gestational sac should now be seen which signifies the baby inside my uterus.
Image credit: ultrasound-images.com
Just like how the TVS was done in Chong Hua, Dr. Cero let me lie down on a bed and she inserted the TVS tool inside of me. She then checked the screen, moved the thing and I told her I am feeling certain pain when she is moving the tool. It took her few more minutes, her face shows a concerned one and eventually told me she is not seeing any gestational sac at all.
She did an abdominal ultrasound this time but still nothing. She did another TVS and this time she is feeling that her gut is right - I am having Ectopic Pregnancy. This term is making me sad even until now. She asked me to pee and we'll have another pregnancy test. The test showed positive and she immediately referred me to another OB-Gyne in the nearby public hospital so we can get help with the situation.
While waiting for the printed result, I can't help but cry. I can't imagine that my baby is nowhere to be found in my uterus but the midwife who earlier felt my belly told me that she is feeling the heartbeat of the baby. I was confused but at the same time I was still feeling hopeful that the baby is just somewhere inside me that this pregnancy would eventually be okay.
⚫ Facing Ectopic Pregnancy ⚫
The photos of the result was shown to me while the OB Doctor who was speaking in Tagalog explained my condition. As per the ultra sound results, there's a remarkable fluid inside my uterus, this could possibly be causing me pain like I was having my monthly menstruation. There's also a complex mass of three cm in size in the left part of my uterus and it is giving me a lot of pain when it is poked. The gestation sac is nowhere to be found but pregnancy test is positive. The OB can't conclude anything else but Ectopic Pregnancy.
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She further discussed that Ectopic Pregnancy is a general term for all abnormal pregnancy where the gestation sac or the baby is not inside the uterus. The baby could be in the Fallopian Tube which is the usual case and that it is growing but the tube is not a muscle so it won't grow resulting to a burst and that would cost my life if that happens. So the only remedy is operation where the Fallopian Tube will be taken out and the baby as well.
Image credit: parentinghealthybabies.com
This was explained to me while all eyes and ears were at me at the public hospital's lobby. I tried to be brave and not cry as there were hundreds of eyes in the lobby. The doctor asked the nurse to bring me to the OB area so she can do an internal investigation or IE. While at the area, the doctor spoke to my husband and my parents about my situation and told them that I need an operation immediately as there's already bleeding inside me.
The Doctor came inside the OB area, she wore the gloves and started examining inside me but I am feeling all sorts of pain while she examines. She stopped and told me if I have normal pregnancy, I won't be feeling any pain so she said I have to undergo an operation. I can't help but cry now as I was not ready about this. I can't let go of my first baby just yet so I asked James if we can go home but the doctor said she can't let me go home. Or if we insists, she'll ask us to sign a waiver stating that she won't be liable anymore of whatever may happen to me while outside the hospital.
We have to make a decision. James agreed with the operation but I had to ask him sorry about what had happened. He cried as well and I can't stop at all. This continued until the ambulance carried us to Tagbilaran City. Unfortunately, the previous hospital don't have an anaesthesiologist at that time so they have to refer us to the city hospital.
⚫ Ramiro Hospital - The Operation ⚫
It was four in the afternoon when we reached the private hospital in the City of Tagbilaran. After my husband got a room for my admission and everything else were ready, they brought me towards the operating room where the doctors and an anaesthesiologist were both waiting. Before I was transferred, the doctor in Jagna had already called the private hospital and scheduled me immediately for operation.
They got me dressed on a hospital gown, the doctor examined me again and when I confirmed the pain, she did a go signal for the anaesthesiologist to give me anaesthesia. Doctor Nazareno, the anaesthesiologist together with her assistant shot me at my spinal cord a few anaesthesia and after just a few seconds, I couldn't feel half of my body. Then I felt dizzy and a bit sleepy plus I feel cold but since I couldn't feel anything from my stomach down, my upper body was getting all the chills and the shaking.
Photo credits: notesfromadogwalker.com
I was still able to speak to Dr. Nazareno and she told me that shaking and chilling was part of the side effect of the anaesthesia. It was normal but she was there all along during the operation monitoring my condition. They had inserted an oxygen for me too in case I won't be breathing.
During the operation, I can feel Dr. Lazaro slicing, pulling and doing something in my abdomen but I can't feel any pain at all. Also they had a catheter connected right inside of me so all that I pee can go straight there.
Image credit: limshouzhi.files.wordpress.com
The shaking was too strong that I requested Dr. Nazareno to make me sleep instead. She agreed on getting another doze for me and I was shut down after a few minutes. When I opened my eyes, I can feel Dr. Lazaro stitching my abdomen, it seems the anaesthesia was already subsiding by that time.
Then I slept again. The next thing I know, I was already out of the operating room and James and my parents were called by the nurse so they can transfer me to the room.
⚫ Recovery Time ⚫
The operation was an experience I didn't imagine I would go through but at that time after the operation, I had to accept the fact that there's now a slice in my abdomen.
This is not me but this is how my cut looks like. Photo credits: community.babycenter.com
After spending five days at the hospital, eating almost nothing but just getting energy from all the dextrose, then eating soft diet after three days, I lost a few weight. I also lost my appetite after eating all soft stuffs, when I started eating hard, I began throwing up and I had LBM too.
This ran for three days but gladly, my body was able to get back into its normal. Now, I am at home in Bohol and just recovering, trying my best to get back to my most normal state. I have to move on, life moves on and hope for the best for our marriage and our family.
This operation mark in my abdomen will stay forever, it will be a constant reminder that there was once a baby that had been conceived inside of me and that brought both joy for awhile as well as pain but nonetheless, it was something my husband and I wanted.
We still hope for a baby in the future. For now, we are focusing on just my full recovery.