“Existence of hymen” is the only proof of virginity of girls who marry in Afghanistan. A few days ago I came across an article which stated about hymen. There are different kinds of hymen which their existence does not necessarily is proved by blood after first intercourse and even there are women who are born without hymen. It reminded me of all the stories I had heard about new brides, whom because of failure in “virginity test” were sent back to their father’s home and if not murdered out of “honor“, were sentenced to never leave the house.
I started writing. I did not use any name because this story is been repeated over and over for lots of women. Women whom their lives changed only in hours after they thought they are starting a new life with God knows what hopes just because of the ignorance about hymen shared in men and families.
Although I know discussing these issues is still a taboo and lots of people even consider it a sin, I do want to distribute this thought with the hope that someday, women in my country do not lose their lives brutally because of ignorance. I hope men and women who read this will someday manage to avoid destruction of life and honor of a family....
Her tears, wetting her cheeks dropped slowly on her skirt. She could not hold her head high with the shame of the sin she had never committed.
No longer there was a sign of her dream house. There were only the broken hopes and aspirations which she had to shamefully live with for the rest of her life.
she wanted to concentrate although the mean words of her mother in law and her husband had made it difficult but she so desperately needed to know why all the laughter’s of yesterday are replaced with cries.
It was just yesterday when she felt like the happiest bride in the world. Yesterday seemed to be like a memory of ages ago and that happy feeling seemed to be a dream far away from reality. “you are a whore and you have to return to your father’s house” her husband yelled.
She still could not process what has happened. She was virgin. She had stayed virgin without having any sort of relationship with any male in her entire life. Screams of her mother in law tore her thoughts apart.
She was exhausted of defending herself. It was hours now that she was constantly swearing she had no relationship ever but all she got in response was humiliation and abusive words.
Putting her head on her knees, she thought about the dark known future waiting for her. There were other brides who were sent back to their parent’s house after the wedding night.
As time went on, she got used to the loud voices and got lost in her thoughts. She remembered her childhood when her father used to take her on his bicycle to masque. Mullah was amused by how fast she was learning Quran, Going to school with other girls; those days she wished to become teacher in the only school of the village.
Later school manager came and asked her father for her hand for her son which made an excuse for her dad to stop her from going to school and stay all the time at home.
All the bitter sweet memories flashed quickly in front of her eyes. As she reviewed her life, she could not remember that moment where she had made a mistake.
She remembered the night when her mother gave her the news of her marriage. She was quit because she didn’t know how to respond or whether to be happy or sad. Her parents had decided for her to marry a man whom she had not even once met. She remembered her mother in particular; when she happily told everyone that the daughter’s silence implies her agreement.
Her heart burned with the idea of how fast had she grew up and the bitter truth that none of her dreams were to be realized. The dark days of future appeared again in her mind; her wasted life, people’s rumors.
She wished some one would believe her but it seemed that the words had lost their power. No one would believe her. After all she had no proof. Only God had witnessed her and it seemed that he is silent. Her heart ached.
Suddenly she felt collision of something light with her head, scattering her already erratic hair even more. She held her head high and there she was; her mother in law in chaduri pointing to the chaduri on the floor and shouting “Bas!Bekhez! Stop! Get up!, we have to go to your mother’s house sooner”.
Her feet were not strong enough to stand her up. She already knew that no one in her father’s house believes her too. No matter what she says, she is sentenced to live with shame of the sin she had never committed.
Her tears were dried as her mouth was. Air was heavy to breath. It was the time....