Why Relationship From Hot to Cold?

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All is well.

We have been established for six months. We have the same interests, felt very free with the (often)
discussed plans for the future, and there was even some holidays together. Our relationship seemed right direction
and just in general.

Then, without warning, he said he "needs time to exploit and figure things out." He stopped calling and rarely
return my calls. If it did, I often found myself silently on the other end of the line. When I asked him: "What
happened "I got a verbal run around of excuses of how busy he is and / or how much stress you are under

What happened? What do I do? I do not know what to think.

Does the above scenario sound at all familiar? If so, you can hit them confused and confused by the sudden
change the behavior of the boy / girl friend.

Now think about this - what if their relationship is not what you thought? As if these issues were not
all the time? What if there are signs that you have chosen to ignore or simply do not see it? Are either of these possible?


The sudden change in the ratio reported in some people who just broken up
significant other. Unfortunately, it was left to man the "Save" feelings of low self-esteem,
Sorry, Inadequacy and anger.

Often there is no real closure if some were never able (willing) to discuss what went wrong or was never right
their relationship.

So, how do you know what the problem and hope to avoid the recurrence of this painful experience? This can be done
His research failed relationships and gain knowledge and understanding of what is wrong between you.

To help you with this; I will provide the basic framework of the relationship has to go through several stages
with out getting a place of intimacy and shared responsibility. If you know of any person
change at a time before or after one of the stages; is not necessarily a "sin" is the second person. It is only
the accuracy of the statements of the person (or not) on the other. There is also a reflection of the ratio of each individual
willingness and ability to manage a long-term commitment to intimacy.

How a person deals with his changing emotions and resulting behavior towards other subject of another article.

Correlation of the stage. We have all read articles and books by authors who produce their own unique
These numbers or names. I'm trying to do a very simple approach to it, and keep it simple and universal as


This is the first step. This is a physical, mental, and emotional - very superficially. Seeing a young girl boy and vice versa. they
Flirt, talk and have a very basic idea of one. They usually respond to physical attraction. He / She is beautiful,
funny, charming, interesting to talk to, etc.

Without attraction, first date did not happen. Therefore we can assume that the other person is attractive, if we
The first day we arrived.

In some ways, it is the easiest. We are strangers to each other. Things in progress at this point or not. hurt Is
Emotions are minimal. Usually chalk rejection; "I'm not your type." No need to analyze or Wonder
What went wrong.

If two people feel strong enough level of passion is still there after a certain date, usually move in
The second stage. However, if you find that others are not comfortable with the characteristics or behavior, it can cause an abrupt change

Keep in mind that the behavior or characteristics, that's very manifests itself in the dating stage.
Some examples: frequently late, never offers to pay, dresses or grooms sloppily, rude waitress, etc.

Romantic relative

As a second step, begin to test the idea of themselves as a whole to marry. Dating is not new. more
comfortable and predictable. By sharing romantic dinner and exciting special interests are typical dates for new
and have a good time for a growing relationship.

In the process, the flowers are given no special reason and loving cards slide back and forth
words like "thinking of you". He is a happy and carefree time when friends tend to idealize, romanticize it and forget it
What may be right in their ees.Suhe seems effortless and spontaneous. The love shared public
and often. One-husband seemed perfect. Very rare cases of disagreement at this time. Members often share
unrealistic belief that their relationship is so special and unique that will always remain so.

This stage can last for three or four months of the year. In fact, with the shortest stage that any
please no long-term relationship through. This is also where we want to hold on to eternity and until it is gone.
This is the stage that love poems speak. It is also believed (erroneously) by many is the long-term
dedicated to love is always the case.

Many relationships begin to stumble at the end of this period. A relationship when reality starts to set. as partners
Having some disagreements, conflicts, and / or joint problems, the relationship changes do
The dynamic between the partners.

Though many relationships move at this stage as it is not. Why? Many factors. May include the following:

* Lack of preparation for the next stage of the challenge

* The problems of commitment and loyalty

* Immature beliefs about what relationships should be

* Being stuck on an idealized notion of romantic love

If one partner is not ready in less demanding and more perfect stage of love is available to you
behavior, language, and the overall level of openness and availability of others.

It is starting a few to think hard about the future of teistega.Fookus tends to be;
How well we get together, we have similar interests, and I want to date this is the only person?

Growth through negotiations

It was a terrible time, and increases the overall relationship building. Truth comes to playing as a couple
Represents the comfort and predictability of their union. Small problems can become major conflicts blown up.
People are going to compete for their share of control and its place in the EU is growing. difference
may have been minimized and not obvious.

This is usually the time when couples experience their first battle. Will hurt feelings can arise if a loving
and fully accept a person who sends a critical or Express discomfort or concern. Often, individuals
that other people have to change.

This is where the skills you need (or lack of) communication, problem solving and negotiation is obvious.
For a sufficiently differences can be divided into shouting match when
insults and accusations fired like missiles.

If people do not listen, then support each other's feelings, commitment, and no blame is
A great way to work at this stage and to achieve true intimacy. This does not mean that they share
all of the same beliefs and opinions, or that it is necessary to ponder, even while others. However, by taking and
Showing respect is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Not only do relationships fail without the strength to build relationships, they can also result in
one party decides that they do not think in the same way that a person less idealized
riik.Reaalsus may not be to your liking or just something you do not like in general. Either way, the
do not like missing or disappear without notice. How do they cope with their changing feelings
It is more about your relationship with the level of readiness and maturity in general.

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Intimacy is the reward you get when one spouse has successfully worked through the difficult final stages
negotiation. It is almost like a new approach to a greater confidence (and more) of consciousness. The new information
Guests can work to solidify the EU or one of two individuals to provide enough new information to other needs
re-evaluation of his desire to stay together.

Each person looks at another of your state (naked), and asks; "Is this the person you want to be?" Here's his party
Differences are highlighted tõstetud.Alguses romantic Haze cleared. What we have to offer each other and
corresponds to the future of life at stake.

This is often the time when couples begin to contemplate the nature of every practical way.
They look at the strengths and weaknesses of the other. Check each of the possible future wife,
His father, caregivers, colleagues, etc.

Relations can try more time. Infidelity is one dysfunctional way that some people
to do it. This often leads to termination.

If differences are found, aired and accepted, some have a great opportunity to spend
this area. Importantly, they have decided they want to be with each other warts and all.

If the behavior of one or both partners change, it is usually because you are conscious or they
know that the evil in them, or any other type of relationship you seek a decision.


This is the final step of building a relationship. When people come to this place, you are ready
strengthen their bond. While strong growth is expected in the future life and work together, to
ready to begin this life soon.

New challenges arise at each level, and will happen here as well. However, how many have successfully
worked through the previous level, must have many sources of information that they need.

External problems and pressures that include life test their determination and commitment
years. They may need to re-evaluate, revise, and renew their feelings and commitment. Fortunately, the
They should have basic tools.

If you choose Well, for starters, it will succeed.

Assessing his failed relationships, consider the situation that was when the change occurred. It is more likely that
required level of preparation and the time limit is not one or two. Maybe one of you
decided that it is not a partner or the relationship I'm looking for.

The new knowledge should help you choose a future partner that best suits you and wish
The same type of relationship to you.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist, relationship coach and founder of www.consum-mate.com. As a recognized expert, Toni is quoted in many local and national newspapers, including the Chicago Tribune, Orlando Sentinel, New York Daily News, Indianapolis Star and Newsweek newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, Cosmo Style, Tango, Men's Health , Star (regularly quoted body language expert), and Nirvana magazines. He appeared in abcnews.com; discovery.health.com; aolnews.com; MSN.com, Match.com, and planetearthradio.com. Toni offers dating help and advice weekly relationship of love and built coach of KTRS Radio Morning Show (St. Louis, MO) and through her ​​syndicated column, Dear Dating Coach.? His newsletter, Art intimacy, which helps over 50-500 subscribers to your dating and relationship advice. Toni is a member of the International Coach Federation, International Coach Association and the National Association of Social Workers.

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