5 ways our cricket is like our politics (and 5 ways it's not)

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It was the latter half of 2000s, a gentleman had firmly consolidated his control.

All his subordinates were handpicked, hardly anyone could have questioned his wisdom on matters regarding his purview.

Then, much like a tide turning, the year 2007 proved to be a year when all services were forgotten; a ruckus was raised; questioning the very authority he yielded. Soon, he was made to abdicate the office. He knew, too, that his time had come.

He announced his exit, though not without many saluting his stature as he bowed out.

No, we are not speaking of Musharraf’s exit from the presidency, but rather the retirement of cricket team captain Inzamam-ul-Haq from international cricket.

Much is made of how similar Pakistan cricket is to Pakistan politics. Not only are both rife with corruption and run like family businesses, our cricketers also sport the same culture, wear the same shortcomings and display the same knack for pulling off borderline-insane stunts.

The cricket here is not without its share of shady politics, and the politics here is not aloof from cricket terminologies. And with Imran Khan's rise to the fore in both, lines have blurred even more.

In this spirit, we have endeavoured to present a list of ways in which Pakistani politicians and cricketers are the same, and a list of ways they are different in.


How they are same


1

Elections and selections both exploit the nation’s super short memory

Four words: ‘Sheikh Rasheed’ and ‘Kamran Akmal’.

If anyone champions the cause of survival-of-the-least-capable-through-forgiveness-and-forgetfulness, it has to be the above two. Both have been afforded more chances than there are cars in the PM’s cavalcade; both were tried at different positions; both have failed, strikingly.

These two aren’t the only ones though. Our political parties and by extension, each individual member, are elected or cheered up on the basis of a vague public impression which fails to factor in past performances – perceptions gain credence over performance.

Recently, Younis Khan tried to revive his dwindling image by pulling off a ‘Metro bus’ in the UAE. He succeeded in getting (s)elected too, only to affirm that he wasn’t up to the task. Sound familiar?

2

Supreme shamelessness characterises both

We used to wonder what could be more embarrassingly unbecoming than Salman Butt appearing on various channels to give his ‘expert opinion’; or more shameless than Kamran Akmal flashing smiles after dropping his 17th catch of the match.

But then, the good Rana Sanaullah of Model Town shooting defame returned to the screens, and we got our answer.

If not him, take Rehman Malik, or Moulvi Abdul Aziz, or those who hailed OBL as a hero. Take any other federal minister and compare how he defends his antics with how the cricket team management defends theirs.

The number of seconds it takes Shoaib Akhtar to go from praising the team to bashing them, is the same as the time it takes another fear-inducing gentleman always in the news to switch from praising military operations to bashing them.

Unfortunately, our country is one where people with zero moral standing brazenly question the acts of others, and we are expected to own those opinions, because our media channels have fallen short of worthy men to represent us in each case.



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