The nation of Pakistan received a welcome surprise today after their team overcame Zimbabwe in a tight contest that may as well have been dubbed the battle of the minnows – going by Pakistan’s woeful recent batting performances.

In fact, considering Zimbabwe’s stellar World Cup scores of 277, 286, and 289, one could argue that Pakistan’s win was a bit of an upset.

After losing to India and then capitulating against the West Indies, captain Misbah-ul-Haq urged his team to seek example from the heroics of Imran Khan’s 1992 efforts. Unfortunately, it seems Misbah’s players took his words literally, and time traveled back to 1992 where scores of over 225 in 50 overs were considered to be commanding totals.

So desperate was Pakistan to emulate the triumphant team’s heroics from the 23-year-old World Cup final that Pakistan lost both its openers cheaply, before smashing the anchor deep into the ocean seabed; refusing to let their prehistoric vessel budge.

Full tosses were pushed back to the bowlers while few attempts were made to rotate the strike. At the end of 15 overs, Pakistan stood at 33 for 2, which was the lowest 15 over score in the World Cup; worse than UAE’s 41 runs against India.

The thrilling recovery continued as Pakistan finally crossed the rate of 3 runs per over at the end of the 24th over.

The situation was dire enough for the stadium DJ to begin playing patriotic Pakistani pop songs to lift the Asian minnows’ spirits.

So outdated was Pakistan’s recovery strategy that one wonders if Misbah-ul-Haq and Haris Sohail thought that Ghulam Ishaq Khan was Pakistan’s President, and that Michael Jackson was still reigning at the top of the music charts.