A lady was running to catch a train to Bangalore. She reached the station and was searching for the train. 

Passenger: (Asked to the station master) Sir, is this my train? 
Station Master: No Madam, this is not your train, it’s railways department’s train. 
Passenger: (Annoyed) That’s a good joke. Don’t act too smart. What I meant was, can I take this train to Bangalore?
Station Master: No ma’am, you cannot! This train is so BIG and you can’t take it. 
Passenger: Its really funny! Now say me, will this train take me to Bangalore? 
Station Master: NO ma’am. The train can’t take you. The train driver will drive it to Bangalore!

The passenger fainted!

Mother to Johnny: “how was your exam, is all questions difficult?”
Johnny: “No mom, all the questions were simple, It was the answers which gave me all the trouble”!

During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”.
Husband replied to pour some warm water on them. 
After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”.!

One day a software engineer drowned at the sea. There are many people on the beach and they heard him crying out. But no one understood what he was trying to say. Can you guess what he was trying to say? “F1, F1”!

Customer called to Tech support: “my computer is not connecting to Internet”
Tech support: “Ok, which operating system are you using?”
Customer: “Internet explorer”!
Tech support: “No, you just right click on “my computer” and click on the properties menu”
Customer: “what are you saying, this is not your computer, it is my computer”!

Four women living in the neighborhood were invited to a party. They were discussing about the dress they would wear for the party. They finally decided to choose the color that matches with the hair color of their husband.
The first woman told, ‘I will go with red as my husband colored his hair red’
The second woman said, ‘I always prefer black as my husband’s hair color is naturally black!’
The third woman told, ‘Yeah, then I do prefer to go with yellow dress as he has blonde hair!’ (yellow)
The fourth woman was quiet. All the other insisted her about her preferred color. 
She said, ‘I was thinking a lot but can’t choose any color, I can’t wear any dress because my husband is bald!’

Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out? 
Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in.

What could be a computer’s favorite dance item?
Disk – o!

How can you make number seven to an even number?
Just take the “s” out from it!

Which is the place pencils like to go for a vacation?
Pencil – vania!

Why did the computer consult with the doctor?
Because it was suffering from a virus!

What is owned by you but mostly used by others?
Your name!

Which is the flower on face?
Tu – lips!

Which is the way chosen by crazy people?
The psycho path!

Can you name a bear with no socks?
A bare-foot!

Can a leopard hide anywhere?
No, he is always spotted!

How can you make a golden soup?
Just add 24 carrots to the soup!

What kind of a star can be risky?
A shooting star!

How do the prisoners communicate with each other?
Through cell phones!

In which bank Dracula like to save money?
In a blood bank!

What type of waves are there in small beaches?
Microwaves!