Sometimes, I just want to evaporate from the real world and just fly to the world of my own wherein problems, stresses, and all the negative feelings are buried 6 feet below the ground ..

Sigh! :/

Sometimes, it would really make me wonder if God is really there. Yes, I am an active individual in our church. And yes, I strongly believe in the existence of God but, there would really come those times when I can question myself "Where is God? Doesn't He care about me anymore?"

And today, I have felt that. I can now feel the burdens at school and in the family. :( School is really my number 1 stressor. But, on the second thought, I am also the one who made it so stressful because I don't know why. I just seem to be so easy-go-lucky person and I seem to take things for granted. I would just work when I am already pressured with the deadlines. I don't know. I don't know what's happening to myself. I am not even like this before.

I don't want to disappoint my parents but how will I do that when even I, myself, is already disappointed with my self? All my life, I have always been thinking to meet the expectations of my parents for me. I am the eldest daughter - and I am really pressured with that thought.

Negative thoughts are attacking my mind right now. And, all I could just do is find a song to inspire me and wash these thoughts away..

And I had found "Blessing by Laura Story". This song is really the perfect song I needed. 

 

"What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?" 

 

And then this has made me feel better and helped me turn these negative thoughts to positive... :)

 

Yours truly,

Christine Jane :)