A Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
The Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Innkeeper: The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed.
Guest: I'll make my own bed.
Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood.
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.