"Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it--just as we have learned to live with the storms."--Paulo Coehlo
Waiting has always been there for me, from my personal life to work. It had never left my side. But I have learned to live with it, and that is the best thing I can do. What came with waiting is anxiety, the feeling of uneasiness while waiting, instead of excitement.
Anxiety is defined as feeling of worry, nervousness or uneasiness about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. And yesterday, I felt it coming, and I have seen on the faces of some people.
The evaluation was scheduled November 17, and it was yesterday. I have all the papers ready and have everything posted, I don't have that competitive personality but I felt like I am. With three more others to be evaluated, I have thought that I will be the last one on the chopping block but then I have to be ready still early in the morning.
While waiting, the feeling of uneasiness started to eat my system so what did I do is kept on walking around and talking to other people. My mind was focused on the evaluation that it had forgotten that I haven't had eaten anything. And just before 12 noon, the evaluators arrived and after 15 minutes, evaluation is done, and that moment, I felt tired and hungry.
That an hour in the middle of the sea.
Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing what to do is the worst kind of suffering."--Paulo Coehlo
Last December 2016, we went to a trip to Bataan, a province in Central Luzon of the Philippines. One of the itineraries was visiting Corregidor Island, and getting there will be on a boat and it will take 20 minutes, depending with the waves.
When we were waiting for the boat to bring us there, we have noticed that there might be a weather disturbance since we feel the wind was stronger and the waters is not calm, and the sky is not clear blue. And our scheduled 9:00 boat became 11:00, the two-hour waiting. And since we can not do anything about it, we have decided to have our "photo sessions", and we got a lot of it.
The boat had arrived and we get to the island after 30 minutes, and we thought it will be the same travel time when we got back. We had fun with the island tour and have our late lunch there. Then we wait for our boat to arrive again.
Just when we thought that going back will be fine, we have this feeling that it would not be as fine as when we go the island, for the engine of the boat don't start and they have to change it, and the waiting game is back again.
After 15 minutes, the engine working fine and we have to leave now the island, with the sky getting darker, we can not afford not to leave as early as we should. Then after 10 minutes of leaving the island, the boat engine died, that didn't feel right. The driver of the boat tried his best to make it work, then we all started to worry. The boat stopped in the middle of the sea.
What should we do?
The municipal treasurer started to pray the rosary and we joined her, we prayed hard. That the four mysteries we prayed at that time and the boat is not working yet. What made the others teary was it started to rain, the wind is blowing stronger, the waves are getting to our faces, but what I kept was what I read, that that part of the sea is shark infested, I wouldn't dare to tell them.
One of my colleagues have started to ask the boat men if they haven't call for some boat to rescue us, they gave us assurance that they have radioed some, and I kept on calling for the person whom I have contacted for the trip, if he can send some help, I don't worry about myself, I worry for my colleagues more, I am not sure if they know how to swim, for I know, thinking of the worst case scenario.
What we have noticed is that, the waves have moved us far from the island, and far from our route, that is how those waves are strong.
After more than hour, a boat came, smaller that ours, it was like our "towing boat" since it towed us back to the port. And seeing its arrival made us hopeful and there was relief. Who wanted to be in the middle of the sea in less than hour with a not so good weather? No one wanted to experienced what we have experienced. Lesson learned, check the weather too while planning for an island tour.
Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent on how you respond to it."--Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
Handling the waiting.
There is not way that I can be good at waiting, but I know I can do something to stay away from anxiety, I divert my attention.
For instance, waiting for my turn in the bank can be hard for it can take a couple of hours. While the others are blabbering, complaining about the slow service I have my own "STYLE". What I always do is play on phone, thank you to candy crush soda, or listen to music, but this is not that much for I might missed my turn, and I walsy bring a book with me, to read while I am waiting and the best that I have discovered, to be on bitlanders, returning buzzes. They are effective, and work all the time. DIVERSION has been the key to keep anxiety away from me.
There are many ways that you can do to avoid anxiety before that feeling can stress you out. Hope you can have some.
Until next time!
Thank you so much for reading!