How amazing would it be if love were always reciprocated? If the people we cared for loved us just as much in return? It sounds like a fairytale.
But it’s not. You can find your prince or princess without popping into a Disney movie. You can find the love you’re looking for as long as you and your partner are right for each other and the timing works out.
But until that day comes, you’re likely to have several less-than-ideal dating experiences.
And the worst dating experience of all is going to be the one you have with the person who thinks of you as second-best. He or she is always on the hunt for someone “better.”
This will likely be one of the most disappointing and hurtful experiences you’ll ever have. You will be made to feel like you aren’t good enough.
If you can recover from such a horrible relationship, I guarantee you will come out better for it. You’ll learn to appreciate yourself in new ways. You’ll learn things about yourself you didn’t know.
Most importantly, you’ll learn to avoid stepping in sh*t, because you’ll see it coming from a mile away.
This is what it’s like when the person you’re with is looking for something better.
Your partner is physically present but mentally somewhere else.
When the two of you are together, it’s like you’re miles apart. Your partner always has something else on his or her mind (and may not admit it). Maybe you’ll be met with hostility when you bring it up. But you’ll know.
Your partner stops going out of the way for you.
You feel like more of an convenience than anything else. You don’t feel wanted or needed; you feel like you’re together because your partner has nothing better to do.
He or she never surprises you or goes out of the way to make you smile. You don’t feel wanted or needed. You suspect your partner just can’t find anyone “better.” You’re there for fun.
When you try to have a conversation with your partner about the direction of your relationship, he or she avoids the question.
“I’m too tired to talk.”
He tells you he just wants to watch the movie. Or she just wants to watch the game. He claims there’s nothing to “talk” about, so what’s the point?
Your partner may even get defensive, accusing you of making things needlessly complicated. Deep down inside, you know you’re together only because your partner hasn’t found somebody else.
You feel used.
“Date night” is now Netflix and sex. Conversations end in sex. Sometimes you don’t talk at all; your partner is that eager to have sex.
And then he or she has to leave immediately to “get up early” or “take care of a few things at home.”
Translation: bullsh*t, bullsh*t, bullsh*t.
Your partner takes without giving.
Don’t get me wrong: You’re supposed to go out of the way to make your lover happy. But he or she never does more than the minimum to keep you around — as if searching for someone who will be worth the effort.
“I love you” sound like empty words.
They’re just empty, hollow and meaningless syllables strung together. If it hurts every time your partner says “I love you,” then the sad truth is these words aren’t true.
Your partner waits hours to text back.
“I was too busy.”
“My phone died.”
“I left it at home.”
“I wanted to call you back, but the music in the club was too loud, and if I left, I wouldn’t have been able to get back in.”
He “didn’t see the message.” And he’s oh-so-very sorry because he “didn’t mean to ignore you.”
What he should be sorry about is leading you on and making you believe he cared about you — when, in reality, he’s just looking for someone “better.”
Fights happen for no reason.
It’s almost like your partner is looking for a reason to end things. Everything you do is twisted into something bad. Everything is your fault.
What’s going on here is that your partner is too scared to cut things off completely and is hoping you’ll take the plunge. Coward.
You cry without knowing why.
You start questioning your misery. You’re with someone; shouldn’t you be happy?
Why are you always so sad? Why do you cry yourself to sleep almost every night? Why are you so incredibly miserable when you should be happy?
The answer is this: The world is full of selfish, egotistical, lying individuals who have no problem hurting people around them. Somehow they manage to convince themselves what they’re doing isn’t wrong.
But it is wrong. Now it’s time to leave their lying asses behind. You need to move on with your life — and into the arms of someone better.