An Alligator Ate my Friend's Car Key My friend, Jason, was visiting me in St. Augustine, Florida. Jason was from New York. We went out to eat at the rustic seafood restaurant, Tin Roof, which I knew was like no place where Jason had ever before eaten. The restaurant, true to its name, had a tin roof, and sat over a protected marshland. Under the wooden deck surrounding the restaurant were several dozen live alligators. Welcome to Florida! Jason and I walked around the deck before we went inside and sat at a table. No one eats outside over a marsh in Florida. The mosquitoes would literally eat you alive as the flies devoured your food. In Florida, even the gnats bite. Jason couldn't believe he was casually walking around over multiple live alligators. He reached into his front right pants pocket and took out his phone so he could take a picture. His car key slid out of his pocket along with his cell phone. He wasn't planning to pull out the key, so the key fell through the wood floor. "Oh no," Jason said as he looked at me, "I wanted to take a picture." "Take a picture of the gator eating your key," I said as I pointed down at the alligator under our feet. Jason looked down and his mouth dropped wide open. He stared, unblinking at an alligator swallowing his car key. I wanted to laugh hysterically and roll around on the ground. I had never seen anything like that happen. Instead, I kept my calm and said, "that happens all the time in Florida." I shrugged my shoulders. "Let's go eat." Jason glared at me as if I were insane, looked down at the alligator, and then looked back at me. The car was a rental so we went inside and ate as the rental car company brought a replacement key. I told Jason to tell the rental car employee that an alligator ate one of the tires. Jason didn't even want to tell the employee that an alligator ate the key. He figured the employee would think he was drunk. The rental car employee met us outside the restaurant. The employee kept a straight face as he told Jason, "this stuff happens all the time in Florida." Jason blurted, "alligators eat car keys all the time!" The employee nodded his head and asked, "you did purchase alligator insurance, right?" "Alligator what!" Jason looked as if he were regretting his visit. "Florida is so messed up!" I couldn't take anymore. I erupted with laughter. The employee started laughing and said, "I'm just joking. I've never heard of anything like this ever happening." We showed the alligator to the employee and then went back to my house. The employee took a picture of the alligator. Jason told me he'd never forget his night eating out in Florida, when an alligator ate his car key. ***** Copyright © 2016 by John Mallozzi. A fiction (not true) story. Any subject, person, or scenario that replicates ‘reality’ or ‘real life’ is strictly coincidental. All rights reserved. The above words and/or artwork may NOT be reproduced, distributed, or stored on a data storage system without the prior written consent of John Mallozzi. Contact copyright owner Email: booksbyjohn@yahoo.com