Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue. U r beautiful, I luv u.
After marriage: Roses are dead, I'm blue. U r my headache, one day I'll kill u.
Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on
Wife, stark naked, stands on her head in bed.
Husband: What the hell are you doing?
Wife: I figured if you can't get it up, you could surely drop it in.