A family member of mine recently struck up a conversation with me about having children, since I'm now married. We spoke about my younger teenage brother who just moved out and she (the family member) began to speak about his promiscuity. Yes, that in itself is bad, but then she began talking about how he was dumb when he optimistically thought he was going to be a father, once before.

The conversation stretched on and she began to say how once you have children "Your life is over". She is in her mid twenties and her career is her "baby" as well as furthering her college degrees; money is her motivation. She doesn't have children herself, so I feel that despite that her words were only a personal opinion, it was invalid. How could a childless woman know about the feelings of motherhood.

While I'm not a mother myself, I do agree that being a mother is hard, but I don't agree with what she said. I watched my mother struggle 19 years trying to raise my brother and I, but does that mean her life was over? No. She tells me all the time now that if she could go back to the times when my brother and I were living with her, she would spend every second she could with us. She tells me that even though it was difficult, there was much joy in having us in her life.

My friends that are my age (early 20s) tell me, despite their hardships and struggles, their children MAKE THEIR LIFE WORTH LIVING. If that's not a strong expression of joy then I don't know what is. Mothers, the ladies that have had first-hand experience of raising their children, I often hear say "my life has just begun" not "my life is over".

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