Building a Strong Relationship Between Family Members
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From the very beginning, it is our family, the main unit in the society, which taught us how to function accordingly in this world. The supportive family who build us, clothe us with the warmth of their love and give us support the very start. Because a strong and genuine foundation of a family gives its members the guidance they need to make one individual get through with life's hardest points.
Good Communication Equals a Strong Family
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Open line communication is always present in a family that has a strong foundation. This kind of a strong family I am saying is the family wherein all family members feel heard and respected. And the best way to strengthen your family's bond is of course by increasing everyone's listening skills.
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''We cannot and we will not have a strong family bond until we can hear each other's words heartily.''
Simple Gestures on How to Build A Strong Relationship Between Family Members; Listen Actively With Each Other
1. Set aside what you are doing and give your entire attention to your family member.
2. Do not focus on what to react or what to reply to the person talking but instead, you must focus on what your family member been telling you.
3. Listen and acknowledge the person's feeling while he or she is telling you something, like saying ''I've noticed that you are mad and you are saying that you don't like your brother. Did something bad happen?''
4. Wait until you have completely understood the whole story and the whole subject of the dilemma before accidentally giving any one-sided advice and inappropriate reaction.
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Encourage Them In Expressing Feelings Using ''I'' Rather Than ''You''
Inside a household, it is so hard to train young ones on how to fully express their feelings to the entire group because they tend to fear the unknown. The unknown scenario of 'what if they will not like my own words'. In practicing the 'I messages expression', the members might find it hard especially the teenagers because they are the ones that are afraid to express themselves and they crave to be more secretive compared to the adults. While on the other hand, the 'I message expression' gives everyone the clear view of one's feelings and thoughts because it serves as a transparent medium to have a look at a person's mind. However, if it is delivered incorrectly, chances of getting a fight might happen and burst out.
So here are some of the examples of how to deliver the 'I message expression'
Instead of saying...
''What's the problem with the two of you? You are giving me a headache! Can't you just knock it off!?''
''All this fighting makes me so upset and it hurts me more seeing the two of you not getting along with each other.''
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That is how to teach every family members on how to talk using 'I message expression' as much as possible in order to express their feelings thoroughly. 'You messages inside the household is one hard routine and it must be discouraged because it may lead to a big scene fight. Try practicing the 'I message expression' and start it by saying -- ''I am not happy when I saw you playing app games on your phone and you did not do your homework.''
A healthy family relationship no matter how small or young the members are, everyone must have the freedom on how to share their feelings and opinions. This kind of sharing does not mean that we are disrespecting the older ones because we tend to be rebellious but rather it will be a practice to all members to respect the ideas and feelings of one another no matter how different it is because everyone is made special and unique by God. And every time when someone felt being heard and respected it will give and help one person to truly feel the freedom as one individual, one person will much likely be open to a better problem-solving task and more likely sporty to accept other's feelings and ideas from the outside community and into the bigger world.
Spend Time More Together
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Strong families spend time together even in their busiest schedules because all kinds of the relationship need a genuine attention and a family definitely needs that bonding. And that bonding I am saying is what we all know as ''family ritual''. A family ritual is a various kind of get together activities of a family to do and they do it together. And this can be mean as celebrating special occasions together like birthdays etc, having dinner together, going to church every weekend together, having an afternoon walk at the park with their dog or even going for a short family vacation in different places. And there a lot of common family activities to do in each every family every family day and almost all of it comes in a very predictable manner because one must know how to prioritize family time first before anything else.
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Each family has their own way of celebrating things together, there is a family who prefers to go out and their family who love to bond inside their household. And in every ritual, a family do together defines how and what type of a family they are. Through every ritual, they do every family share fun and memorable experiences all throughout the generations and the next-next generations. And even work is a compulsory thing to do in every parent order to provide financial support to the family there will be always time to insert 'family time' every weekends and holiday.
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We must also keep in mind that every child is special and every child needs attention. The attention they can get every 'family time'. Providing that attention to your child in a predictable manner will help develop a close and intact relationship with your child. And when having a special time with our family be sure to not use any devices that will interrupt your bonding, like phone, TV, and laptops.
Handle Conflict Fairly
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Conflicts are a natural part of human experiences in every kind of a relationship. And even a healthy and strong family experiences conflicts too because there are times that family usually don't agree with each other sometimes but despite of that, a family must know how to solve the problem instead of tearing one another down.
3 Keys on how to handle Conflicts
1. Know what the problem is and focus on it
2. Focus only on the present problems and do not open old scars
3. Use problem-solving skills to have a fair solution to the problem, teach and explain to young members the scenario for them to understand it clearly because they are too part of the family
Build A Strong Building With A Strong Foundation; Build Trust
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In every building, there is one special ingredient in order to make the building strong when a storm comes in and just like in a household, a family must have that secret ingredient to stand still in every storm comes in too. And that secret ingredient is TRUST.
''Trust is the best paste that stick a family all together.''
Ways to develop trust inside the household:
1. Give your child some chances and opportunities on how to earn your trust. They must know that trust cannot be earned in a very simple way and they must know how to work hard for it, for them to know how to treasure it too.
2. Allow people in your family to know how to compensate. We all make mistakes and one must be matured enough to make up what the bad thing had happened.
3. Teach every member on how to be responsible and be accountable for everything they do. One must know when and how to say “I’m sorry''.
''Because family matters most so building a strong relationship between family members is one significant thing to do repeatedly''
And that’s all for now, until my next blog
© yadeed15 ♕ 2017
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