To be a good parent is one of the greatest challenges that life will give you. Parenting can bring out both the worst and the best part of you. It’s not like a job that you can quit each time you’re getting tired. The truth is that no one is ever ready but you have to embrace it.
There are so many pieces of information out there about how to be a better parent and what techniques are helpful in modifying your child’s behavior. Sounds good, right? But have you ever noticed that it’s missing an important part?
The first thing you can do to be a better parent is to focus on developing yourself. This is where you should start in order to be a nurturing and attuned parent. You have to assess and understand yourself as an individual before you can effectively influence your children.
Being a parent is undeniably the most rewarding and fulfilling experience, and yet the most complex as well. You should know how to make your child feel valued and loved. Create an environment where he can thrive and develop into a confident and smart adult. Give below are ways on how to be the best parent to your children.
1. Allow them to be INDEPENDENT.
Parents will do everything to make their kids feel comfortable and free from any pain. There’s nothing wrong about it but sometimes it became too much and unnecessary. You should not do the things that they could easily do for themselves, or else, you’re teaching them the perfect way to be lazy and irresponsible.
A five-year-old child is already capable of dressing himself and yet some parents continue to dress kids as if they were still newborn babies. The only time you should interfere is when he asks for help. Never do your child’s homework but you can still guide him. It’s better to explain the process of how to get the correct answer rather than giving him only the final answer.
Although it isn’t easy to watch our children dealing with difficult situations, we should let them experience it. Allow them to learn from their mistakes and don’t stop them from figuring something out on their own. Helping your child is absolutely fine only if your goal of teaching is to make them self-dependent.
2. Build a CONNECTION with your kids.
A simple board game, going for a bike ride, or just watching movies together is one of the best memories that you can ever give to your children. Spend time with them, do something fun, and laugh together as much as you can. Time flies very fast so allow yourself to do silly things with your children. Cherish every single moment that you have with them and make the best out of it.
A parent is someone who listens not just hears. Open your heart and give your full attention whenever he speaks about something. Having strong communication build trust with each other. Your child will be more confident to share with you how he feels and what he thinks.
You must create an atmosphere in which your children can see you as their safe haven. Show them that you are someone that they can lean on whenever they are facing problems. Let them feel that you are there to celebrate their achievements no matter how small or big it is. Give them your undivided attention and let them see how interested you are to them.
3. Know when to say NO.
Some parents find it hard to be firm with their children. They hesitate to set rules or even if they did, some don’t stick with it. You should not break your own rules. If you tell your child that there’s no cellphone for a week only to make an exception that very night, how could you expect him to take you seriously?
You must train your child the importance of being obedient to the elders and the consequences that follow if they don't. By the time they reach adolescence, the kids who don’t see their parent as authority figures are more likely to be troublemakers. They will start to do unacceptable behaviors until it became habitual.
The best way to protect your child’s future is to assert your authority with consistency. It doesn’t mean that you will control his life, it’s more about showing him that rules and regulations are created to provide peace and harmony in society. To be a law-abiding citizen starts inside the family, he should first learn to obey his parents.
4. Set a GOOD EXAMPLE.
We all want our children to be responsible, trustworthy, kindhearted, and compassionate. No matter how often you engage your child to community service or read books about moral issues, if you are behaving opposite of what you are preaching, it would not stick in his heart. The real key to raise a child with character is to walk the talk, be that person first.
A childhood in which material things aren’t prioritized produces an adult who understands that money is not everything. Parents who demonstrate genuine sensitivity towards animals are showing their children that every living creature should be treated with love and care. Be someone you want your child to be and be the parent that he will be proud to have.
The best way to instill values is to lead by example. Children learn manners long before they have the ability to read about it in any textbook. It should be taught during the ordinary interactions of everyday life. Children are like a sponge, they easily absorb everything, it’s only a matter of what would you let them absorb about you.
5. ADJUST your parenting according to situations.
Your child is growing up fast so you should keep pace with his fast development. You can’t expect them to be matured already at a young age so you must consider how age is affecting a child’s behavior. The younger they are, the more supervising we should give to them.
It will cause confusion if you overexplain to young children and it will cause misunderstandings if you underexplain to a teenager. If your child’s grades in school are drastically suffering, don’t be too hard on him. You must understand that you should never add more pressure when the child is already facing a hard time.
Let them play if necessary because it is a form of therapy for a child to recover from life’s disappointments. Aside from giving emotional and mental healing, it also offers important lessons in life. Playing is not only about having fun, but it also teaches them about athletic ability, sportsmanship, and cooperation. Good parenting is helping your child on his social development in every step of the way.
6. NEVER be harsh and violent.
Parents should never hurt or harm their children under any circumstances. Children who experienced verbal and physical abuse are more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to be bullies and they might think that aggression is the only way to solve disputes with others.
Spanking, hitting, and slapping your child is a very dangerous act not only on his physical health but also on his overall well-being. He will think that violence is a sign of someone’s true strength and a normal thing to do. Later in life when he reaches adulthood, it’s not surprising if he ended up as antisocial with lots of criminal records.
If you want to be respected by your children, you must also treat them with full respect. If you could show courtesy to others, then why not to your own flesh and blood? Respect his opinion and speak to him politely. Never tell your child that he only brings bad luck. Your children are the best treasure in your life so you must treat them with extraordinary care.
7. Be UNDERSTANDING and never demanding.
Don’t compare your children to yourself or to your dreams in life. Accept the possibility that what you want to achieve could be somehow different from what they really want. You can serve as their inspiration but you can’t force them to do things exactly the way you want it to be.
Some kids are athletics while some love to spend their time in libraries. Some are mathematicians while other kids are having great cooking skills. Whatever it is that they excel or lacking at, you should be there to give your full support and guidance. A Tiger Mom (or Dad) can make their children succeed in the future but it will be hard for them to get their respect.
Insulting, humiliating, or belittling your child will make them hate you. If they make mistakes and apologized for it, forgive them and explain why it shouldn’t be tolerated. On the other hand, if it’s you who made mistakes, you owe them an apology. Let us show them how to take responsibility for their actions and teach them to choose humility at all times. Children will always prefer a loving and humble parent over a tiger one.
The role of every parent is to prepare their children to have a bright future. We must guide them to be well-mannered, responsible, socially active, and independent. Always be there to support your children and spend quality time with them. Accept them for who they are and never force them to be someone else.
You must also learn to take care of yourself so that you’re healthy enough to be with your children for a longer time. A good parent maintains active communication and he protects them from any dangers. Trusting them to make their own decisions will make them wiser in life. Don’t get mad if they commit mistakes because it teaches them how important it is to stay on the right track.
A great parent can adapt to different situations. You can be a doctor whenever he’s sick or you can be his best friend whenever he is weary. Be a supportive parent but don’t tolerate wrongdoings. You can be his biggest fan without compromising what is wrong and what is right.
Encourage your child to pursue the things that they love. Tell him that his dreams are worth fighting for and he is worth fighting for. Don’t make him feel that he can never be good enough in your eyes. Instill in his mind and heart that he is the greatest gift that God gave you.
Parenting styles may differ from one family to another because each family is unique. Do the things that are most suitable for your children. Place your child as your first priority and do whatever it takes to give him the best life. Let them feel that you can be trusted and help them out to be the person they want to be. Be grateful for having them because the kids that you have now is the same thing that some are still waiting.
Thank you for reading and have a great day.
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