Alas! Most of the people we meet are full of hopelessness and doubtfulness. So, I am writing this blog to tell you how important self confidence and your perception about yourself and others are.
The following is a list of statements made many years ago. At the time, they were made they looked intelligent. With the passing time, they sound idiotic.
Top 7 All Time Stupid Quotes:
1. “There is no need for any individual to have a computer”
(President of Digital Equipment Corporation)
2. “Airplanes are good toys but of no military use “
(French Commander)
3. “Man will never reach the moon”
(Dr. Lee De Forest)
4. “People will get bored of TV after 6 months of its invention “
(Head of FOX)
5. “Nobody likes the sound of guitar”
(Decca Records)
6. “Two years now spam will be solved “
(Bill Gates in 2004)
7. “The Earth is the center of the universe”
(Ptolemy, The Great Astrologer)
And here is a list of statements made by real people just like you:
1. “Nobody in my family went to college I would be a fool to think about it”
2. “I will never get along with my stepdad, we are so different”.
3. “I cannot do anything. I am a loser!”
What these statements have in common is that they are perceptions not facts and another thing is that they are incomplete or inaccurate-even though the person who said them are convinced they’re true.
Another word for perception is paradigm. Paradigm means how you see something. It’s your point of view, frame of reference or belief. Sometimes our paradigms are totally off the road and they create limitations for us or hold us back from trying.
Paradigms are like our eye glasses. When you have incorrect paradigms, it’s like wearing broken glasses or dusty glasses. They effect how you see everything. So, you see what you get. For instance, if you believe you’re dumb that belief will make you dumb even if you are not. Similarly, if you think your sister or brother is dumb, you will find evidence to support your belief and she or he will remain dumb in your eyes. And if you think you are smart it will cast a rosy hue on everything you do. That’s how much paradigms affect us!
One of my friends told me that he loved mountains. One he went to an eye doctor and she discovered that her eye sight was much worse than he had thought. After wearing glass, he was again astonished that how well he could see. He said that there are more details on mountains and road signs than he had ever imagined. He didn’t know how bad his eyes were before he experienced how well they could see.
Similarly, we have paradigms about our self or other people. We don’t know how much we are missing because we have messed up paradigms.
Paradigms of Self:
Now stop here for a moment and think are your paradigms helping or hindering you?
Last year our school hosted a speech competition and our teachers encouraged us to participate in it. The whole class of mine signed the participation letter expect one boy. I went to him and asked “Bro! why you are not participating”
He replied with a sad face “I am too dumb for it! “
I knew that he is thinking very negatively about himself.
So, I said” Come on! I think you can win this. You have a beautiful style of talking “.
He looked at me with his fully opened eyes and said “Are you serious? Ok I am in!"
He participated, however, he didn’t win any prize but he was happy that he has overcome a great hurdle, low perception of himself.
He went through a stage known as” paradigm shift”.
After some months, He developed a charming and confident personality.
So, what I am trying to say is that sometimes we just need a boost a little self-confidence or someone to motivate us, someone who believes in our talent.
When we think” I can’t’’ or “I am dumb” are we really dumb or it’s just a paradigm, a low perception, a blurred image provided by the dirty glasses of our self. Do think about it when you say” I can’t” next time.
There is a famous story about the son of King Louis XVI of France. King Louis had been taken from his throne and imprisoned. His son, who was the heir of the throne, was taken away by those who dethroned the King, they wanted to destroy him morally so that he could never become aware of what his destiny is.
They took him to a faraway community. They exposed him to everything that can drag a man’s soul as low as one could slip. They exposed the lad to dishonor and disrespect. They used vile language around him all the time. Six months passed like this. So, after so intensive temptation they questioned him that why he had not submitted himself to these things? Why he had not partaken?
He answered “I cannot do what you ask for because I was born to be a king”.
The prince had such a strong positive paradigm about himself that nothing could shake him. So, if you put on glasses saying “I can” or “I will’ it will put positive spin on everything else.
So, if you have a contorted paradigm of yourself, there is a solution for this. You should start spending time with someone who believes in you like your mother, father, friend, relative or anyone. Go to them for advice. Think about yourself like they think about you. Then you will experience what a new pair of glasses can do.
Paradigm about others:
Sometimes we have negative paradigms of others like if we see someone silent or not active we start to think that “how lazy he his” or give him nicknames like’ silencer” and when we discover that his mother passed the last night we feel sorry and ashamed. It is, unfortunately, our daily life habit. Why we think negative about a person whom we don’t know at all?
A friend of mine told me that he went to a cafe the day before and he bought some cookies and sat on a table. He was enjoying the cookies when a young boy took a cookie from the packet. He was embarrassed by what that lad was doing but he kept quiet. Then the boy took another cookie from the packet. By the time, they were down to the last cookie. The boy picked up the last cookie and broke it into two parts. He gave one piece to my friend and ate the other. My friend was thinking what kind of human was that boy. He stood up and went to the counter to pay the bill when he found his cookie packet in his own pocket. He was eating from the packet of the boy. He was shocked and amazed that the boy shared the whole packet with him without saying a word and he was cursing him.
That’s how we develop negative perceptions about others without knowing the reality.
Friends! if you really think about it, you will realize that most of our problems are due to our messed-up paradigms e.g. if you have a poor relationship with your dad, it’s more like that both of you have warped paradigms about each other, he may think that you are a spoiled brat and you may think that he is so strict.
So, we can solve most of our problems by having a positive perception about our self and others also.
Regards
BloggerZ
